I am so happy!!

I am super happy!!
I applied to be part of the Summer Darkness fashion show from Mfashion, and I can take part in it! I never expected this, it is so nice. The best thing is that other lolitas I know also take part in the fashion show: Catherine, Rosalyn, Tamara, Renske and Josine! I can't believe it! I am sure it will be lots of fun! There is an 'official' practice day. I am of course a little bit nervous, but also very excited. I am really looking forward to Summer Darkness this year! It will be a lot different than before. Before, I always went partying with friends! I loved to see the bands performance. But this year, I am tight on money and the bands that perform aren't my favorite. Even though it was lots of fun with Gijs the previous year, I will now be able to experience Summer Darknness in the 'lolita' way and attend the modeshow and picknick. I've never done that so I'm really looking forward to it ^^

PIXLRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I am enraged right now. It is because of Pixlr.
I was innocently making a VERY GOOD drawing of a Rammstein My Little Pony. It was perfect, it looked like all the band members in 1 and still like a My Little Pony from Friendship is Magic.
BUT......THEN THAT GODDAMN PIECE OF MOLD SHIT TTRAAAASSHHH FROM HELL Pixlr crashed!!!!
I googled and there were actually people that made a post on the Pixlr customer service whatever boards that sounded polite. Using the words I am very upset Pixlr crashed.
UPSET?!!! I can not understand that person and this understatement!! Why would you post ANYTHING on that stupid forum that is not a 5 pages long curse word poem?!
If that wasn't some sort of extremely sarcastic hidden-message post that can be read backwards as: Be prepared. I know where your office is. I will bring my machine gun , I don't know it anymore.
I just don't understand how people can still be polite when some dumb online tool has just sadistically destroyed efforts of an hour or so. Let alone more hours. I don't have a tablet, you know. It is difficult for me!
I can't believe such a dick sucking worthless shit application still exists, and I mean it. If you happen to read this and you work for Pixlr: I will never forgive you, asshole! NEVER!!!!
raaahhhh I know this is trivial, I KNOW but I can get sooooooooooooo angry about such things.

PS: I downloaded Sai Paint Tool, Lord bless Sai Paint tool, and my new Rammpony is also very cute and even better than the previous one.

A picture of yourself taken today and 3 good things that happened the past 30 days.

I look angry, because I am very angry at the moment! More about it in the next post.
anyway, the 3 good things:

#1 I learned to finish something
#2 I got to see Rammstein with friends (nothing to do with this meme)
#3 I went to the Eigentijds Festival (nothing to do with this meme)

A picture of a lolita you'd love to meet for real

A brolita counts too I guess?

A picture of the perfect lolita location

The Alice in Wonderland café in Shinjuku <3

One song that fits your favorite lolita style

There is no country lolita song SO:

Your Facebook profile picture

Your favorite lolita themed artwork

Everything from Keiichi Kunishige <3 His artwork was what made me discover lolita nine years ago, and I still love it. It is so mysterious, somewhat creepy - even though the lolita style he drew is a bit oldschool now, the drawings never aged. There is something about his art that still hyponotizes me. The creepiness is something I find modern gothic/old school lolita coordinates to be lacking. I hope I can pull of a Keiichi Kunishige inspired coord one day! :D

A picture of you from a meet

It was a tiny picture (didn't took it), so bad quality, sorry! Anyway, I still think it looks kind of magical ^^

A picture of your handwriting

Done with touch thing on my laptop because I'm lazy.
Happy, meme creator?

A picture of your room

Tidy, isn't it? Ha ha

Your favorite fictional lolita

Well, we do not have much choice there, do we? It is either Momoko from Kamikaze girls, Miwako from Paradise Kiss, Yuki from Gothic & Lolita Psycho or some interchangeable girl from Doll. I decided to be original and my favorite fictional lolita is.... *drumroll*

Yuki from Gothic & lolita psycho. A confession: I haven't even seen the movie! I wanted to buy it for a meet, but Catherine deemed it to bloody. I only saw some trailer clips on Youtube, but maybe I'll organize a "Gothic & lolita psycho movie meet" in the future, lol.

A picture of a lolita friend

Me with Catherine! <3 (From Mcduffblog)
I learned to know Catherine because she send me a message on the, now dead, Dutch lolita forum, whether I went to the Fly away fashion party too, as a lolita from Almere. I said yes. When I attended the tea party, I talked with everyone except Catherine. I expected her to talk to me because she had sent me a message and she didn't. It was probably irrational of me because there was no way of her recognizing me (or was there? I can't remember sending her a photo), but I saw her as a stuck-up bitch and decided not to talk to her either. Untill she happened to be in the Fly Away shop by coincidence too and we talked. I realized she came over as a nice girl, more shy than stuck-up. Because she and Rowan, another lolita from Almere, needed to go the same way my mother drove them home, too. It was close and enjoyable, the tree of us chatted the whole way home. Later, Catherine invited me to Rowans tea party and I also met the other lolitas from Almere, who were super nice too. I am still grateful that Catherine made me get to know my local lolita community. Not only that, but one day I was bullied - almost harassed at Behind the Bows. They were calling me a psycho bitch and stuff and said they were goinng to inform my local lolita community and persuate them to never contact me again! I send Catherine a mail that I wanted her to know the Behind the bows argument before she heard it from someone else, and that I understood it when she never wanted to see me again. But Catherine called me and said it wasn't the case. I was in tears because I didn't want to lose Catherine and my local lolita community, they mean a lot to me! Fortunately Catherine chosed my side instead of that of the mean bitches. I am still thankful for her trust in me! I may be a few years older than Catherine, but I hope that we stay friends and that I get to attend every meeting she organizes in the future. Right now I'm saving up for her meet in Amsterdam , I think it will be so much fun! Thank you for being my lolita friend, Catherine <3

What's in your makeup bag?

#1 Etos eyelash serum. I am not very convinced by the claims eyelash serums usually make, yet I seem to buy every new one that doesn't have glaucoma drugs in it. This newest addition works surprisingly well. Or rather, surprisingly well for something that most of the time doesn't work at all. With this one, I can see the same "results" as with other, more expensive eyelash serums. Which means probably that there is no effect at all, but I swear my eyelashes sometimes look longer after faithfully applying this daily. Was cheap, so will buy again.
#2 Lip fusion lip pencil. I bought this long ago for a third of the original (expensive) price on Ebay, and I still haven't used it up. I just don't wear lip pencil. However, I should wear it more as a lipstick since it is not drying like other lip pencils. No 'plumping effect', though.
#3 Miss Sporty eyeliner. I bought this cheap product years ago when liquid eyeliners were still new. There is still product left and it hasn't dried out, although the brush is somewhat deformed now. Although it smudges/fades rather quickly, I like this eyeliner because of the good color payoff.
#4 Essence tweeze. I like to use it at bus stops.
#5 Catrice gel eyeliner. I was very fascinated by the gel eyeliner thing, so when it popped up in the aisle of affordable and not on animals tested Catrice cosmetics, I had to try it. The color payoff and staying power are great, although it can be messy to apply and requires practice.
#6 Essence gel blush. And now in 2013, the gel blush is a new thing that is copied by Essence (another cheap brand not tested on animals) and I choosed it as a birthday gift from my friend ^^. This one looks bright red but shows pink on the cheeks, very Juliette et Justine-like. The staying power is good.

#7 Fusion beauty blush. This is a very pretty, sparkly peachy cream blush with subtile glitter I bought for about one third of the (expensive) price on Ebay -if you have a favorite cosmetics brand that is expensive, check out Ebay. The staying power is ok, but the best thing about it is that it is made with skin conditioning ingredients,so if you really don't want to remove your makeup at night it is no problem with this blush. It also claims to make your cheeks fuller and when I used it very often I could swear my cheekbones looked better, lol.
#8 The brush for the gel eyeliner
#9,10 automatic eyeliner pencils by NYX in white and brownish green. NYX is a cheap  brand but the cosmetics have great color payoff and are gentle for the skin, and they are not tested on animals. Love these eyeliners.
#11 Max Factor mascara. Got it for free somewhere, and it is decent.
#12 Catrice lash+ mascara. Claimed to boost eyelash growth. That didn't work but it was a nice mascara untill it started clumping.
#13 Catrice lipgloss. This is so pigmented! Almost like lipstick, but with a glossy shine. Perfect for gothic lolita looks.

A picture of your favorite lolita style

Do I really need to choose?? I love a lot of styles: sweet, classic, country, hime, gothic, oldschool..
If I have to pick a style though, it would definitely be country lolita.

There are several reasons why I like this style the best. It is a sort of compromis between sweet and classic lolita. It is more modest than sweet lolita, yet more playful than classic. It is elegant yet not too stiff, and remiscent of youth yet not too childish. The colors are bright and cheerful. You can wear an outfit made by a sweet brand one day and an outfit put out by a classic brand the next, which makes the style versatile and less boring. You can even make a great oldschool coordinate with it. If you are tight on money, country lolita  clothes are probably the easiest ones to makes since fabrics with strawberries, cherries, flowers and gingham aren't too hard to find, and strawhats, baskets and hair flowers are neither.

Some people say country lolita is not a real substyle, but more a theme. Yet it is covered in most "style guides", along with sailor. I also think it is more a substyle than a theme since certain prints (strawberries, cherries, gingham) and accessoiries (straw hats and fruit baskets) like mentioned before, instantly remind you more of the country side than of the main style (sweet, classic), and it is often very different to tell which main style country lolita pieces belong to anyway..
A negative thing about country lolita is that the look is hard to pull off in the winter. However, I think this guide does the best job so far to make winter outfits still recognizeable as country lolita.

What do you want more than anything right now?

Finishing my thesis. I am trying to finish it for two years now and I'm really done with it. This is a boring one, I know. Also, being happy with my life and not so terrified of ageing and death.